


Scars, Stitches and Emotional Switches

by dyketastic



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Injury, OOC?, idk maybe, its so soft guys, she has a soft side I can FEEL it in my soul, she only has 5 minutes of screentime I can do what I want, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:47:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29040372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dyketastic/pseuds/dyketastic
Summary: V gets hurt and gets a glimpse of Meredith's softer side
Relationships: Meredith Stout/Female V
Comments: 12
Kudos: 104





	Scars, Stitches and Emotional Switches

**Author's Note:**

> What's up, y'all? This is my first ever fic so i'm sorry if the summary & tags are shit I honestly haven't a clue how to summarize any of it. Like I said we only get like 5 minutes of her(which is a CRIME give her a full romance you cowards) and I feel she has a soft side which I'm absolutely running with. I'm nervous as hell posting it since originally I was just writing it for myself but I figure the rest of you are probably as starved for content as I am(...plus we love a mean woman with a soft side, right?(or I do; but I also want her to knee me in the face so) anyway, at the very least I hope you enjoy it! Koodos to my friend for coming up with the title <3

V slowly climbs the lone staircase up to her apartment, putting most of her strength into pulling herself along the railing for fear of her legs giving out. She’s lived here for about a year now and she can’t recall the trek to her unit from the entrance ever feeling like such a journey. Never has she been more thankful for her gorilla arms, for their grip on the railing was probably the only thing keeping her standing right now. She swears there have been a couple extra steps added to the staircase just to spite her in this moment.

She must look as awful as she feels, if all the glances she’s been receiving the entire way home are anything to go by. She probably should have checked herself over. Hell she probably should have gone to see Vik but she was just too tired. She just wanted to get home, crawl into bed and sleep for the rest of the week. Maybe a month.

Finally reaching her apartment, she falls back against the door with a wince before it’s even had time to close and she’s knocked off what little balance she had and slides down to the floor, heaving a heavy sigh and closing her eyes to rest. She can finally relax.

“V?”

She swears she hears her name called. Johnny, she assumes. Who else could it be? She lives alone. But it’s quickly lost to the fog of exhaustion and she deigns to ignore it. He can wait.

“Are you dead?”

She lets out a sharp laugh at that; regretting it as a jolt of pain shoots through her exhausted body.

“Not yet, Johnny.”

She hears footsteps approaching her. _Weird_ , she thinks. _Did he have footsteps before?_ An odd thing to think she’s never thought about.

“Johnny? Who the fuck is Johnny?”

“What?” she finally opens her eyes and is met with the almost-icy glare of her output. If it wasn’t for the barely perceptible concern peeking through her girlfriend’s usual state of aggression she could assume she lacked a heart, but she knew better. She can’t help the smile that escapes at the sight of the other woman or the warmth that washes over her. “Hello, Meredith. I didn’t know you were coming tonight.”

Her greeting is swiftly ignored as she watches the glare get colder. “Who the fuck is Johnny?”

 _Ah, of course she won’t let that slide_ \- she curses herself internally for her blunder

“He’s… ” Johnny, of course, decides he wants to hear this as well as he forms into view leaning against her shelving unit; both he and Meredith are waiting on her with a raised eyebrow, issuing their challenge.

“He’s, uh, kind of like an imaginary friend?” She offers pathetically, both scoffing at her response. Johnny at least seems more amused than insulted, which she is grateful for. She can see him rolling his eyes at her behind his glasses before he vanishes again. She explained the relic to Meredith, explained what it’s doing to her body but conveniently omitted the parts where she can see and talk to the dead rock legend for fear of being thought insane and having her output leave her. She couldn’t bear the thought.

“What the hell does that even mean? Did you hit your head?” the blonde leans down to look at her more closely and V’s eyes are drawn to the wide collar of the shirt she’s wearing as it hangs low and loose, giving her more than an eyeful. Wearing nothing underneath, she obviously had other plans for the evening; up until V barely managed to drag her sorry ass through the door. Realization finally hits her then that Meredith is wearing one of Jackie’s old shirts. He’d given her a few when she lived with him and Mama Welles despite them being way too big for her, and Meredith, clearly, and she smiles at the memory of him.

 _What would you say right now, Jack? A corpo wearing your shirt._ She stifles a laugh at the thought. She wasn’t sure if it was a blessing or a curse he wasn’t around for them to meet. Would they hate each other? Maybe. Or maybe he would have been able to break through her barriers with his near unlimited charm. Not that she would ever admit to liking him, if she ever did. So many possibilities, and she was doomed to know none of them.

She’s drawn out of her thoughts when she feels fingers rub along her temple and she watches as Meredith stands up straight again to inspect her fingers in the overhead light “Is this yours?” she holds her hand out, showing the grime and blood she’d wiped from her face.

“I… don’t know” She reaches up, wincing at the effort and touches her face; feeling around for fresh cuts but she can’t differentiate between what could be new, what’s old and what’s probably debris

Meredith scoffs and stares down at her incredulously “You don’t know? What the fuck happened, V? You’re a mess.”

This time it was V’s turn to scoff. “Fucking cyberware fucked me over.” She glowers at herself over her own failure. Over how what should have been a quick and easy fight turned into such a glorious shitshow.

“Your cyberware did this to you?” the blonde scowls as her blue eyes scan her for more damage “This is why you can’t trust that back alley rippe-”

V holds her hand up to stop her, “Please- Mer, I don’t want to start that right now. This has nothing to do with Vik. My cyberware works fine, it was just… ” The merc pauses to dig around for the words, letting out a frustrated breath. “Wrong place wrong time? An unfortunate situation? A fucking disaster?” She stops herself before she goes on a tangent

“I had just finished my gig and I was heading home when I walked past a gang meet and I thought, hey, I could make a few extra eddies off their shit and have some fun.” another angry huff escapes her as she remembers it “It was going routine as usual, until my shock-n-awe activated and there must have been a fucking tank or something nearby because something exploded and it was like a fucking chain reaction-” she remembers hearing it, feeling the gust of wind and then turning in time to watch the vehicles surrounding them explode in rapid succession before she was blinded by the sheer brilliance of it all and the blast threw her against concrete and everything went dark. “I got tossed against a wall and it knocked me out for a few minutes at least. When I came to everything was either burnt to a crisp or still burning and everything hurt- everything still hurts-”

“Okay.” she hears Meredith say softly

V looks up at her and is almost shocked to see what looks like sympathy on her face “Okay?” she repeats, confused.

Meredith offers a hand for the merc to grab “It happened. It’s done. It’s already in the past, you survived, and you made it home. Don’t dwell on it. Don’t let it happen again. Learn from it, improve and overcome it.”

V nods as she takes her output’s offered hand, pushing off the door as she’s pulled up for extra support should her legs fail her. Normally she’d crack a joke here, something about how someone who's always giving orders instead of doing the grunt work couldn’t possibly lift her up but she knew better. Knew Meredith was physically stronger than she let people believe and she was honestly glad for the help. Were she alone she would have slept right where she was against the door. “Thank you” she mumbles once she’s back on her feet.

“Mhm. Now go clean yourself up. You’re filthy.” Meredith says as she grimaces at her soiled hand

V slowly brings her hand up to her chest, trying to avoid triggering any pain and putting on a show of being shocked “But you love it when i'm filthy”

Meredith lets out a laugh before she smirks “Normally, yes. Let’s see if you’re still as smug when you see yourself in the mirror.” the blonde grabs a nearby rag and wipes her hand off before chucking it into a bin and returning to her place on the couch surrounded by her workload. _And… nibbles?_

The merc smiles as the cat snuggles against Meredith’s leg once she’s seated again. Her output always denied holding any affection for the animal despite catching them sitting together more often than not when she was visiting. On rare occasions she’d even catch her petting him but she would always stop when she noticed V had entered the room. V tried, on several occasions, to get the other woman to admit it but she knew Meredith probably never would. Her stubbornness knew no limits and she wouldn’t dare let herself be proven wrong about anything.

Kicking off her boots, V hobbles her way to the washroom. Standing in front of the mirror she readies herself for whatever she's about to see staring back at her when she activates it but as her image loads in the reflection her jaw drops. “Oh my god, what the fuck?” she hears Meredith chuckle from the other room at her remark. She’s coated, head to toe, in soot, ash, debris and blood.

Her normally white hair is now blackened with only a few patches of white, sticking out every which way and several strands have been singed. The top half of her face is splashed in blood and ash, while the bottom half is completely unsoiled thanks to the oni mask she had been wearing before it was destroyed by the blast. It had still been on her face when she came to and had been melted and cracked so she had discarded it then and there.

Her white Yukata top and Punk jeans were torn and shredded all over, small shards of shrapnel sticking out in places. She couldn’t feel if they had pierced her but then again she already hurt all over so who could say if it wasn’t a contributing factor.

She had a few cuts on her chest, where her top exposed her skin but luckily nothing looked too serious. She just hoped it didn’t fuck up her ink. She sighed as she stared at her tired reflection. _What a mess._ Still, it could have been worse. She was lucky she had even been able to get up and walk away from it at all. She hadn’t yet killed all the gangbangers before the explosions happened and she was the only one to walk away from it in the end. If it wasn’t for her second heart rebooting her, she wouldn’t have.

Reaching over to the shelf she pulls down her emergency medical kit. Grabbing a Bounce Back, injecting herself and tossing it into the bin. Next she pulls out a bottle of painkillers, popping a couple and dropping the bottle back into the bag she returns it to the shelf.

Shoving the things on the counter into the corner she turns and carefully hoists herself up to sit and begins to pull out the pieces of shrapnel she can see before she even attempts to remove her clothes lest she end up cutting herself more. Once she’s finished she dumps the handful of collected metal shards into the bin. Pushing herself off the counter she carefully begins to peel off her clothes, finding only minor cuts and bruises here and there where she can see. Fully undressed now she tosses her clothes into the bin without a second glance. They’re no use to her shredded.

Stepping into the shower she turns on the water and leans forward against the wall, wincing as the water hits her back and shoulders. She watches as the soot, ash and blood swirl down the drain below her. Feels the warm water relaxing her tense body and the meds numbing her aches. She inhales deeply, wincing again from the expansion and lets out a long sigh, closing her eyes for a second as exhaustion washes over her.

…

“V?”

…

“V.”

…

“V! What the fuck are you doing in there- Jesus christ, V!”

She jumps at the shouting “w-what?” She glances back over her shoulder and finds Meredith standing beside the shower’s partition, staring at her back with a look of shock and horror. _well, that's new._ She turns the shower off and tries to turn and face her but Meredith stops her to continue her inspection.

Not taking her eyes off the merc’s back she starts, “You’ve been in here for over twenty minutes and I haven’t heard a damn thing since the shower started and...oh my god, V” she reaches a hand out towards V’s back, stopping herself before making contact. Her wide blue eyes tracing along whatever she’s seeing. She opens and closes her mouth a few times, unable to form words as she continues to scan her back. A sad frown settling on her face.

The merc couldn’t lie and say she wasn’t starting to feel a little freaked out right now. Seeing a woman such as Meredith Stout in a state of shock and stunned into silence was probably never a good sign. “What? What's wrong? What's on my back?” she carefully reached her arm up to try and touch her back, noting she doesn’t have the full range of movement in her right shoulder

“Stop! Don’t!”

She freezes with her arm in mid-air and lowers it back down “w-what’s going on?”

Meredith gives her another incredulous look “You can’t feel that?”

“Feel what?” she focuses on the feeling in her back “It’s… numb. I can tell it’s swollen, at least. Why?” she gives her output a worried look “is there something there?”

“V...” she sighs “You have a…” she makes a long swiping gesture in the air “there’s a huge gash across your back and it doesn’t look good.”

V freezes as her eyes go wide “Seriously? I can’t feel a thing” she flexes her back and watches as the blonde grimaces

“Stop that.” She attempts to put on a stern face but can’t stop grimacing as she stares at the wound “It’s swollen as hell. Call your ripperdoc, get him over here. **_Now_**.”

“What? Not even half an hour ago you-” she wasn’t trying to argue, it wasn’t the time for it but she was thrown by the turn of events. Trying to make sense of an injury she couldn’t feel, the bubbling panic of a woman who usually kept herself so well put together( _outside of her temper, anyway_ ) and her own fear over seeing Meredith’s panic was making a mess of her mind

“I know!” she practically shouts “I don’t trust him. But you do, and you need medical attention.”

V opens her mouth, to say what, she doesn’t know when Meredith gives her her trademark glare and she quickly throws her hands up in surrender

“Call him!” she continues glaring, her eyes only getting more furious as the seconds pass between them

“Okay, okay! I will!” she raises her hands higher, trying to ignore the heat she could feel brewing inside her whenever she was on the receiving end of Meredith’s glare. _down girl, down!_ She chides herself

She receives a swift, stern nod and watches as the other woman swings on her heel and marches out of the bathroom. _Off to collect herself, no doubt._

Stepping out of the shower she notices Meredith left her a change of clothes on the counter. She smiles at the gesture. Slipping on the pants she stares at the mirror for a second, debating whether she should see for herself. Whether she even wants to. She knows she probably should. Hesitantly she activates the mirror, watches as it loads up her reflection.

She doesn’t even have to turn around to know it’s bad. She can see the swelling peeking over her right shoulder and around the base of her neck. The dark patch of black and blue. Slowly she turns, trying her best to see but without much luck. At most she can see a giant dark blotch spreading down from her right shoulder to below her ribs. _Oh, fuck._ Tentatively she prods around the top of the injury, where she can reach with her left arm. Feeling for the wound, regretting it the second she accidentally presses her fingers into it.

Steadying her nerves, she takes a deep breath to calm the earlier panic she felt. Having now assessed the wound for herself she knows it’s nothing Vik can’t fix. Once she feels she’s regained her composure she rings up vik on the holo, uncaring if he sees her without her shirt. He was her doctor, it wasn’t like he hasn’t seen it all before. And she’d have to take her shirt off again anyway.

“Hey, kid. Unusual of you to call. What can I do for you?"

“Hey Viky!” she steps out of the washroom and finds her output leaning against the windowsill, towel in hand. When their eyes meet she gestures for V to sit on the plush stool she pulled away from the couch and dragged to the window with her. Once she’s sitting Meredith pushes off the sill to stand in front of her and gently starts drying her hair. “Are you busy right now? I need a doctor.”

“Uh-huh. You do, do you? And where are you?”

“I’m at home. Can you do a house call?” she idly runs her fingers along Meredith’s bare thigh, tracing lazy patterns as the other woman stands over her

“That depends on what you need”

“I need stitches”

“Yeah, I can do that.” she hears shuffling in the background as he packs his tools

“You’re the best, Vik.”

She hears him chuckle “I know, kid. I’ll be over shortly.” he ends the call

V tries to stifle a yawn. The events of the day had taken a toll on her body and the painkillers were only making it harder for her to fight off her ever growing exhaustion. Wrapping her arms around Meredith’s waist she buries her face against her stomach.

Meredith tosses the towel into the hamper beside them and runs her fingers through her mercs soft, snowy hair. “Is he coming?”

V nods against her

“Are you… okay?”

Even without looking she can feel the blondes eyes on her. She tilts her head to the side to meet her gaze, almost melting on the spot from the concern written all over her face. She probably isn’t even aware it’s showing right now. V just stares up at her, taking in the sight. Trying to absorb what she can. She got to see new sides of Meredith tonight and she wants to relish in it all, even if the circumstances weren’t the best. Meredith had softened around her considerably over their months of dating but tonight was a whole new range of rare emotions she got to bear witness to.

Having taken too long to respond Meredith cups her cheek and tilts her head up so they can look at each other properly. Staring directly into V’s eyes as she seems to contemplate something; opening and closing her mouth a couple times as the silence stretches on. Finally, she speaks: “...Valerie?” she says softly, hesitantly. “Are you okay?”

The rush of affection V feels crashing through over Meredith using her real name would have knocked her on her ass had she not been sitting down. She had used her name only once before, during some petty argument at the start of their relationship. She remembers Meredith trying to lord it over her; that she had dug up information on her and V had rounded on her so fast over it; it was the only time she had seen the other woman back down from a fight.

The hesitation when Meredith said her name this time though meant everything to her. She had taken V’s anger to heart, debated with herself and took the risk in igniting her temper again all for the sake of checking to make sure she was alright. How far they had come. Words would never be enough to tell her how she was feeling right now. Surging up from her seat she captures her stunned love’s lips with her own, pulling her against her tightly, desperately trying to convey all the feelings and emotions she was drowning in. Hoping to pull her down under with her.

She traps Meredith against the windowsill as the blonde half-heartedly tries to escape the affectionate onslaught. She feels her output smile against her as she returns the kisses. Only releasing her lips when her love tilts her head away and laughs

“I’ll take that as a yes”

She takes the opportunity of the others exposed neck to pepper it with kisses, trailing down her shoulder where the shirt hangs low, exposing more skin and then back up again. Repeating the circuit a few times.

Meredith squirms against her. “V!” another laugh “Valerie, please! You’re injured. You’re going to hurt yourself again.”

“That’s okay” she mumbles against her shoulder, “vik will fix me up” she wraps her arms around her output again and buries her face into the crook of her neck, heaving a content sigh as she takes in her scent and feels Meredith gently place her hands on her waist. They stay together like that for a few quiet moments before V releases her and returns to her seat on the stool. Knowing Meredith wouldn’t be comfortable having someone walk in on them.

It’s only a couple minutes more before there’s a knock at the door and Vik walks in holding his medical bag.

“Hey, kid. What kind of trouble did you get yourself into today?” he smiles as he walks over, halting in his tracks when he glances over at her company; still leaning against the windowsill, cigarette in hand. Doing a double take at the woman and her apparel. “Meredith Stout?”

V sighs dramatically, “No, Vik, Meredith was not the trouble I got into today. That would have been much preferred to the trouble I did get into.” She hears her output take a deep drag from her cigarette; a tell-tale sign she's trying to mask her amusement.

“Uh-huh...” he continues looking between them, unsure of what to make of it. “So, what trouble did you into, then?”

Spinning around on the stool to face the woman behind her she gestures to her back with her thumb, staring at Vik’s shocked reflection in the window since it was easier than trying to peer over her shoulder. “I lost a fight against some explosions”

He approaches her and sets his bag down, kneeling behind her to inspect it. “Ouch. Really did a number on yourself. Did you break anything?” He carefully runs his hands along her back, feeling her ribs and spine before moving in front to check her limbs. Paying extra attention to the hinges of her gorilla arms checking the plating for dents.

“I don’t think so. I hit the wall pretty hard and I hurt like all hell but everything still seemed to work. Made it home, didn’t I?” She gives him a cheeky grin only to get a disapproving look thrown back at her.

He shakes his head “Why didn’t you come see me instead of heading home?”

She shrugs and immediately regrets it “I was tired. Just wanted to sleep. Didn’t even know I was injured until Meredith saw it. I couldn’t feel it”

He looks up at her in disbelief, shaking his head again mumbling something about ‘today's kids’ as he returns to start patching her back

He slowly applies pressure around the wound, testing her sensitivity. V winces a few times as he does, not missing the way the grip on the cigarette in her output’s hand tightens every time she reacts. She offers Meredith a smile and watches her grip relax, yet refusing to relent her death glare as she observes them.

“Has the swelling gone down much?”

She glances at Meredith who confirms with a nod while she watches Vik like a hawk. Her cigarette burning away, forgotten as she glares at him.“Yeah.”

He nods, satisfied “That’s a good sign. Your nerves were shot from the impact and the swelling blocked most of the sensations. You may not be able to feel it much now, but you’re going to feel everything tomorrow.” He reaches over and grabs his bag “For now, I'm gonna numb you, give you some accelerators and stitch you up. From the looks of it you must have hit a rod of some sort that gave you a nasty cut and the severe swelling ripped it open.”

Both her and Meredith grimace at the thought. V can’t remember if she felt the rod, she just knows she felt the wall.

He injects V with the numbing agent and accelerators. Setting himself up while it sets in. Once he’s prepped and the swelling has gone down considerably he tests her sensitivity again. Nodding to himself when she doesn’t react. “Alright, are you ready, kid?”

“Ready as i’ll ever be” She hears Meredith shift in front of her. For the one who wasn’t on the metaphorical operating table she was more on edge than the one getting sewn back together. She smiles up at her again, offering her hand. She wants to laugh at the irony of being the one to offer comfort but her heart was overflowing knowing her output was worrying about her so intensely.

The blonde just stares at her offered hand for several moments. V can see the war raging within her. Reluctant to show affection in front of another but also needing the comfort and wanting to offer comfort in return. She almost pulls her hand away when Meredith finally accepts it. The merc strokes her thumb over her girlfriend's knuckles lovingly. Trying to convey what comfort she can.

The room falls to silence while Vik works. The only sounds are the snipping of the scissors as he ties and cuts each stitch. Normally Body Heat would be playing on the radio but Meredith preferred to work in silence and V hadn’t the chance to turn it back on since returning home.

“And… done” he says with a final snip as he cuts the last stitch

V turns to him with a skeptical look “Already?”

“What do you mean ‘already’?” he raises an eyebrow at her “Stitching people up is the easiest part of my job.”

She glances back at Meredith who had taken the chance to inspect his work while she was turned “How’s it look?”

“Looks good. Even managed to line your tattoo up perfectly.” her eyes continue to scan along the line of her injury and V knows she’s looking for any imperfection to fuel her negative outlook of non-corporate ripperdocs

V just stares at her for a few seconds in silence until her output meets her eyes “I have a tattoo on my back…?”

Meredith gives her her third incredulous look of the night “You never did tell me if you hit your head earlier. Should I be concerned?”

The merc gestures to her injury, where the bruising creeps over her shoulder from behind “I probably did. Personally I would like to go with ‘out of sight, out of mind’ before we jump to brain damage, though.”

The blonde shakes her head at her as she purses her lips in disapproval

V shrugs, freezing for a moment when she expects pain until she remembers she’s numb and relaxes, relieved.

She hears Vik laugh beside her “Good thing I lined it up again then. Something to look forward to rediscovering as it heals.” he packs his equipment away with practiced ease. Pulling out a small bottle of pills before closing the bag. He shakes it in front of V to grab her attention. “Take these when the numbing wears off. You’re going to want them.”

She reaches out and takes the bottle from him “Thanks, Vik. What do I owe you?” She stands with him and follows him to the door.

“No working for the next few days. Stay home, kick your feet up, let your body heal. I don’t have to tell you this but try and stay off your back as much as you can-”

V looks to her output with a smirk, ready to crack another wise one when she meets the ice-cold blue gaze glaring back at her in warning and she thinks better of it and looks back to Vik silently

He chuckles and continues: “See me in a couple days so I can check the stitches and make sure it’s healing properly.” He glances past her to look at Meredith who remained by the window. “Will you be with her tomorrow or should I send someone?”

“I’ll be here.” she says simply, glaring still.

V turns to her in shock “what? What about work?”

“I took tomorrow off”

“What? But-”

Vik interrupts, “Okay, before you guys get into it-” he looks to Meredith again “Make sure she rests. She’s going to be in a lot of pain tomorrow once the adrenaline wears off and he painkillers will only do so much.”

Meredith nods

“Alright,” he looks back to V “I’m off.”

“Wait- what do I owe you?”

“Come see me next time instead of heading home, yeah? Night, V.” he nods to Meredith who continues glaring until the door shuts behind him

Locking the door V turns back to the other woman “Are you serious?”

“Serious about what?” she raises an eyebrow curiously and discards her burned out cigarette in the ashtray beside her on the windowsill

V returns to her girlfriends side and leans against the sill with her “You took a day off work?”

“I did. Why?” she says as she turns to face her

“You only get five days off a year." she says, uncertainty in her voice "You’re going to waste one on me?”

Meredith’s eyes narrow “You think it's a waste to spend the day together?”

“No! No, I don’t. I don’t mean it like that.” she raises her hands in panic, regretting she even said anything

“Then how _did_ you mean it?” She spits out harshly as her features tense and her glare returns

V slides closer, just a smidge knowing she was teetering on the very thin line of setting off Meredith’s fierce temper. She reaches out slowly towards the blonde’s hand, stopping to gauge her reaction and when the other makes no move to pull away she gently takes it into her own and caresses it with her thumb.

“I know how much you love your job. How important it is. How busy it keeps you. I don’t mean to sound like I'm not excited over the thought of getting to spend time with you. Or that i’m not grateful you’re willing to spend the day with me when I could potentially end up being a royal pain the ass-”

She watches Meredith’s lips form a sly smile “You’re always a royal pain in the ass”

V’s jaw drops in surprise at the jab even though she pretty much set herself up for it. Meredith chuckles at her reaction and she can’t help the smile that spreads on her face over her girlfriend's amusement and the relief she feels over having avoided angering her.

“I’ll let you have that one” she says as she brings Meredith's hand up to her mouth to give her knuckles a gentle kiss. “I just-” she pauses as she tries to find her words, unsure of how to articulate her feelings “I don’t want you to regret spending one of your few free days with me when i'm not at my best”

“Then don’t let me regret it.” she responds as she pulls her hand from V’s grasp. Crossing her arms she stares at the merc in contemplation

V can feel the panic gripping her heart as she stares back at Meredith; unable to gauge how her output is feeling or what she's thinking. _Great. I still managed to fuck it up._

After what feels like ages of unbearable silence, repeating what she said in her head over and over desperately trying to pick apart what could have triggered the shift she finds that there’s only one way to proceed. She takes a deep breath to steady her nerves and hopes she doesn’t regret hearing whatever is going through Meredith’s mind “...What are you thinking?”

Meredith continues to stare at her for a few more seconds before finally speaking “You’re right. I do love my job. It is important. Both to me, and within the corporation. But what you apparently fail to realize is that you are also my job.”

“What?” she says dumbly, caught completely off guard

“We’re a couple. It’s each of our jobs to care for the other and seeing as my output has been injured and needs time to recover, it’s my role to step up and support you. I’m not going to just hand you off to some back al-” she stops “someone else. You-” she stops again, this time looking like she’s debating her next words “You’re just as important to me. Is it so hard to believe that I care about you? Do you honestly think that I wouldn’t be here for you when you need me?” she finishes, expression unreadable as she stares down her merc. V knows the stoicism she’s projecting is a front to hide behind when she feels vulnerable, though. A skill she has mastered through years of working for the corporation.

V stares at her in stunned silence with eyes wide. Whatever she thought she had expected to hear, it was none of that. Not even close. _Oh._ Her mind races as she digests the loaded confession. She knew Meredith cared about her. Long before she saw all the glimpses of worry she had put her through tonight. Had she not, their relationship would never have become a relationship in the first place. It never would have made it out of the bedroom; or even the motel. She feels like her heart could burst at any second yet she wants to kick herself. The fact that she ever let Meredith think she doubted her feelings & loyalty was something she would never forgive herself for.

“V?” she hears as she focuses back in on her output, who was clearly waiting for a response. “What are _you_ thinking?” the blonde throws her own question back to her

She almost chuckles at the irony “That i’m a huge fucking gonk”

Meredith quirks an eyebrow and opens her mouth to respond but V puts a hand up to stop her before she offers both her hands forward and waits for the blonde to place her own in them.

When Meredith finally relents, reluctantly uncrossing her arms and placing her hands into the Mercs, V grips them firmly and stares into her output’s eyes as she begins: “I’m sorry, Meredith. It was never my intention to let you think that I ever once doubted how you feel about me. I know you care. I’ve always known. It’s gonk now that i'm realizing it but I guess I kind of panicked-”

“Panicked?” Meredith repeats, narrowing her eyes in confusion

V nods to her “Mm. I know you love your job, but I also know how stressful it is. I got worried that if you took the day off to take care of me that it might… I don’t know. That you would regret it; find me a burden. That you’d have second thoughts about dating a merc” she sighs as she looks to the floor “I don’t want you to think less of me. I want to be the best for you, I want to be _at_ my best for you, all the time. But I failed you tonight.” she raises her head and looks into her girlfriends eyes again “You told me earlier to learn and improve from my failures and I will. I will do better for you. Because I-” _love you_ “like you a lot, Meredith Stout. I only ever want to make you happy.”

Now it was Meredith’s turn to stare in stunned silence before she looks away with a faint blush tinting her cheeks

 _Cute_ she thinks to herself as she tries not to smile

Meredith pulls her hands out of her grasp again and turns away from her

She almost fears she’s made another mistake when she hears her output mumble “ _you are a fucking gonk_ ” faintly and without malice

Stepping forward she reaches around Meredith, giving her the opportunity to step away. When she doesn't move, V wraps her arms around her from behind and places a tender kiss on her shoulder “i’m your gonk, though”

She feels Meredith place her hands over hers and she smiles as she rests her forehead against her shoulder and the blonde rests her head against hers. If she could stop time right now she would. What she wouldn’t give to stay here like this together. But before she can stop it a yawn escapes her.

Meredith chuckles, releasing V’s hands and stepping out of her grip before turning to her again “Let’s get you to bed. You’ve got to be exhausted”

“I won't argue with you there” she yawns again as she covers her mouth “Are you gonna sleep too?”

The blonde turns back to the living room and grabs a couple of her work tablets “No, not yet. I still have some stuff I have to finish.”

V opens her mouth to speak when Meredith glances at her and rolls her eyes in amusement “Yes, I will sit in bed while I work”

She beams at her output and turns, wasting no time in climbing under the sheets and scooting to the far end to make room for the other. Making sure to stay on her side, careful to avoid laying on her back.

Meredith grabs a couple pillows from the couch and tosses them on the bed where V arranges them against the wall for her to lean against.

V waits for her girlfriend to settle on the bed before she scoots forward and snuggles against her leg, caressing it and letting out a content sigh.

She hears the sheets ruffle, tiny padded steps on the fabric followed shortly by a chuckle. Cracking an eye open she looks up to the blonde and mumbles, “what's so funny?”

Soft, amused blue eyes gaze down at her as Meredith gestures to the cat now curled in her lap. “Is this what they mean when they say pets take after their owners?”

She smiles, remembering that she had seen Nibbles curl against her earlier, and now here he was again. “Probably” she kisses Meredith's thigh, reaching out to pet the snoozing feline “I called dibs first though.”

Meredith chuckles again and runs her fingers through her merc’s hair

V closes her eyes again and feels the exhaustion washing over her. Just as sleep starts to take hold, a thought hits her.

“...Mer?” she mumbles, almost too tired to speak

“Mm?” she hears in response

“...I wanna watch-” another yawn escapes “I wanna watch all of your favourite movies tomorrow...”

“All of them?”

"Mm” she nods lazily against her leg

“I’ll hold you to that” she can hear the smile in her voice

“You better… g’night, Mer”

“Night, Valerie”

She smiles as sleep finally drags her under.


End file.
